Whether planned or impromptu, whether fancy or more casual,
it’s always a nice evening. And that is
the way it’s supposed to be.
Unfortunately for three friends dining at a Chilly D’s Sports Lounge in
Stockton, California their girl’s night out turned into a bit of a “nightmare”
out. Granted, when the bill comes at the
end of a restaurant meal it can be a little shocking but when Christine Duran
looked at their receipt the shock did not come from the total at the bottom, it
came from a table identifier in the top left corner. Instead of a table or section number or a customer
name, the receipt read ‘fat girls’.
Duran could not believe what she was seeing and immediately
turned to her friends Isabel Robles and Christina Huerta asking, “Why does this
receipt say ‘fat girls’?” They laughed
and accused her of lying. When she
showed them the receipt they were dumbfounded.
Confronting the waiter when he came back to collect their
money he denied having anything to do with the “label” stating that a waiter
named “Jeff” (whose name does appear on the receipt) typed the title into the
system to keep track of their bill.
Obviously the manager was called. Duran told ABC news that he “had a smirk on
his face, like it was funny but he was trying not to laugh”. He offered them a discount of 25% and then
upped it to 50%. Understandably, the
women rejected both offers. In my
opinion the manager should have comped them the meal and probably offered them
a freebie return trip as well! That is
if they actually wanted to ever return to his establishment.
Although embarrassed Huerta took a picture of the receipt
because she wanted others to see it. Bar
Manager Jimmy Seimers was not working the night the incident took place but
questioned Jeff who admitted typing the words into the system. Seimers stated, “I don’t think he understood
completely because he was busy last night, but that’s just no excuse.” Seimers also stated that Jeff was suspended
as investigation into the incident continues, but added that “they would
probably find nothing that would save Jeff’s job”.
Rightly so, Jeff’s job should not be saved under the
circumstances. I trip to a sensitivity
training should be in the cards as well.
Jeff could take some customer service lessons from the Red Robin Manager
in Apex, N.C. who also caused a stir with his customer’s receipt. An obviously very pregnant woman came in with
her husband to enjoy a quiet dinner out.
The manager recognized that she was tired and stressed and decided to do
something nice for her. When their
receipt came they were pleasantly surprised when he comped their meal, and
wished the mother-to-be the best of luck.
I get the distinct impression there would be no ‘fat girls’ receipt tolerated
in his restaurant!
When Christina Robles talks about what happened she
cries. “He probably thought it was
funny. It’s not funny. I can just see it over and over again, and I
still can’t believe it. They labeled us
‘fat girls’. It’s just something we’ve
got to deal with.”
Chilly D’s posted the following on their Facebook page the
following Saturday:
“ … I completely understand why they were hurt by what was
written on their receipt and that type of treatment isn’t tolerated. Also there will be no tolerance in the
future, guaranteed. Everyone is welcome
in our establishment, my family built this business so that the community of
Stockton would have a safe and fun place to hang out and come together. My hope is to heal our newly tarnished reputation
so that everyone feels safe and welcome again.
And if these ladies would like to meet with my family and I, so that we
can personally apologize, we would really like to do that, because we do not
want anyone to have an experience like this.”
I understand that waiters and sales personnel need to track
customers to make sure the right table/person receives the correct receipt or
invoice. But seriously, do these
insensitive individuals not realize that what they type into their system gets
printed on the customer’s receipt. I
have a hard time believing that! This is
not the first time a receipt has insulted a paying customer. A Maryland Radio Shack employee referred to a
woman as an “ugly bitch from tatooville” on a receipt in March
2012. A Papa John’s employee was fired
in January 2012 after using the racial slur “lady chinky eyes” on a
customer’s receipt and in August 2010, Consumerist reported on a Domino’s
receipt with a racist remark typed at the bottom. Although the ‘fat girls’
incident happened in December of 2012, I did not come across the story until this week,
while I was looking up something else on the Internet. It was reported on ABC News as well as
written up in the Huffington Post.
Obviously the other receipts are equally as bad, even more so, as the receipt
from Chilly D’s, but the ‘fat girls’ is the one that happened to speak to me
personally.
I have never been skinny and have resigned myself to the
fact that I never will be. It’s not the
way I am built and it’s just not in my genes, but I could definitely weigh less
than I do now. After all, that is the
purpose of my TOPS membership, my virtual walk and this whole blog. I have been heavier and I have been
thinner but with age comes wisdom and I have learned to
understand than I am not defined by the number on the scale. As far as other people’s
perceptions go, thinner is definitely better.
If you have ever been overweight (it’s really hard to say fat,
which makes the above story that much harder to tolerate and that much more
hurtful) chances are you have been insulted in one-way or another. Overhearing a whisper as you walked by
(probably purposely not whispered quietly enough) or a hurtful comment from a
well-meaning friend or relative? There’s
that tried and true, “you’ve got such a pretty/handsome face … if only you
would lose a few pounds.”
Although I have not thought about the following two comments
from my personal life in years, they immediately came to mind when I read the
story of the ‘fat girls’ receipt.
“I didn’t know
hair grew on fat!”
The scene: My very
physically fit, high school football playing cousin was sitting in the living
room with me watching television. A
commercial came on for a hair removal cream for legs. I happened to make a comment that it really
was not as easy and mess free to use as the advertisement made it seem and that
was his remark. I have since forgiven
him (well, mostly) because he was an insensitive jerk as a teenager. I was not as quick on the draw or as
outspoken back then (read: painfully shy).
If I had the nerve then that I have now I would have no doubt come back
with something to the effect of, “Really?
It grows on your head doesn’t it?”
Alas, life does not have a do-over button. This is a secret, so don’t tell anyone but
about that little scene, nastily - I take the slightest bit of pleasure in the
fact that despite his athletic prowess in high school, he is now also waging
the battle of the bulge. I would have to
rethink my come-back comment as well, because he is also bald!
“Wow, I didn’t know
pork sausage could dance?”
The scene: High
school dance … the first and last one I ever went to. No regrets though as the Monday after the
dances usually held the consensus that the “Friday dance sucked”.
As I said, I very rarely think on those comments but boy
they sure popped up quick when I read the article about the receipt. As it happens they both happened to me during
those
high school years. Teenagers are a mean
spirited bunch! At the risk of totally
giving away my age, but to put a little perspective on the whole thing, it was
the 70’s. Perceptions of what was “fat”
were different than they are now. I
would never have been considered “skinny”, but I honestly do not think I would
warrant that comment in high school now.
As an adult I have had situations where my weight has made me feel
uncomfortable, self conscious, unhappy and sometimes even unwelcome but those
are feelings that I brought on myself.
Overall no one has made verbal comments – at least not within
earshot. I’m not even going to talk
about my pregnancy years where I definitely was as big as a house. That’s a whole different discussion!
It’s 2013 and everyone tries to be politically correct. Terms such as physically or mentally
challenged are commonplace. Racial slurs
are unacceptable even in the context of humor.
Midgets are little people and secretaries are administrative
assistants. Every area of life has
gentle euphemisms. And rightly so, no
one deserves to be singled out because of their differences. But there is no gentle euphemism for
fat. Fat is fat or heavy (not
flattering) or overweight (not much better) or obese (‘nuff said). Fat people know they are fat and do not need
other insensitive people pointing it out to them, particularly, in the public
manner of the ‘fat girls’ incident.
The push to be slim is very strong. Witness the number of commercials for Weight
Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc.
Witness the number of lotions, potions and magic pills for sale. I’m not saying those of us fighting the battle
should not be concerned with being a healthier weight, with eating more sensibly
or being physically stronger. But I
believe those slim (but not necessarily healthier) people are becoming more
tolerant. Actresses are no longer bone
thin. Queen Latifa is a large woman and
I think she is absolutely gorgeous. She
dresses beautifully, carries herself well and is a very sexy lady. She did ads for WW, so is obviously is also
conscious about her weight, but in the meanwhile, she continues to play the
love interest in romantic comedies. And,
believably so. Kudos! Stick thin and anorexic (actual or just
looking so) fashion models have been banned from the major runway shows.
Were the three girls involved overweight? Honestly, yes they were. Does that mean that they are not welcome in a
public establishment, or that they need to be singled out? Certainly not. Since none of the articles I read offered
Jeff’s age I can only assume that he was young.
In my experience as people get a little older they are more tolerant of
weight issues as well as other differences.
More willing to take the person for whom they are.
I am grateful that the important people in my life look at my
heart instead of my hips.
I'm posting this on Monday afternoon, before my TOPS weigh-in because my laptop is still at the doctor's. I'll catch up on the weigh-in next week, but I did walk 15 km on the treadmill this week, so I can add a little more onto my virtual walk.
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